Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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