I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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