her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize