you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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