If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
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Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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