You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize