This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
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It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize