I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
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