Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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