one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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