Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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