TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
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the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
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no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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