Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize