Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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