I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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