Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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