Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
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He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
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I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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