with your own penis?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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