okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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