So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize