If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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