P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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