Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
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She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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