i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize