If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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