I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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