Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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