APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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