can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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