I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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