All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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