he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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