On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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