i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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