I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize