I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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