I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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