defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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