And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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