how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
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There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
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I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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