I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
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Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
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He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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