can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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