some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize