is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
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Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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