opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize