when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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