i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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