So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize