I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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