A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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